Discretion (continued) Book V

"I am merely one of the sons of men," he said. "As it is written, 'Are your minds set upon righteousness, O ye congregation? And do ye judge the thing that is right, O ye sons of men?'" (Psalm 58.1)
V.x.13. Abba Agathon said, "Even if in your anger you could raise the dead, it would not be pleasing to God, simply because of your anger."
V.x.14.  Three old men once came to abba Achilles, and one of them had rather a bad reputation. One of these old men said, "Father, would you make me a fish-hook?" 
"Oh no" he said.
And the next one said; "Please do, so that we shall have something in our monastery to remember you by."
But he replied that he really didn't have time.
And the third, he of the bad reputation, also said, "Make me a hook, father, so that I may have a kind of blessing from your hands." 
And to him he said, "Yes, I will."
The first two whom he had refused asked him in private why it was that he had refused their request but agreed to the other's. The old man replied, "In giving you the answer that I didn't have time I knew that you wouldn't be upset, but if I hadn't answered him the way I did, he would have said that it was because I had heard of his bad reputation and for that reason wouldn't make him a fish hook. So I threw him out a lifeline to save him from mental distress and depression."
V.x.15.  The story is told of an old man who had spent fifty years without eating bread and drinking very little water, and who said, "I am no longer tempted by sex, avarice or vanity."  When abba Abraham heard about this boast he came to him and asked whether this was what he really had said.
"Yes", he replied. 
"If you went into your cell," abba Abraham said, "and found a woman lying on your blanket, would you be able to think of her as not being a woman at all?" 
"No", he said, "but I would control my thoughts and not attempt to molest her."
"It's not that you have destroyed all thoughts of sex," said abba Abraham, "but rather that you have controlled them. Again, if you were walking along and among the stones and broken bricks you saw some gold, would you reckon that to be merely a sort of stone?" 
"No," he said, "but I would resist the temptation to pick it up." 
"The desire is still there, you see," said abba Abraham, "even though you have controlled it. Again if you heard of two brothers, one of whom liked you and spoke well of you while the other disliked you and slandered you, would you feel the same towards both of them if they came to you?" 
"No," he said, "but I would try to help  the one who disliked me in exactly the same way as I would the one who liked me." 
And abba Abraham said, "The passions never die. It is just that in holy people they are kept under control."
V.x.16.  One of the fathers told a story of a old man who worked diligently in his cell wearing only a blanket. He went on a visit to abba Ammonas, who when he saw him wearing only a blanket said, "This sort of practice isn't really a very useful one."  But the old man said to him, "I've got three thoughts that bother me, one, that I should go and live somewhere else in the desert, two, that I should go on pilgrimage where no one would know me, and three, that I should shut myself up in my cell and see nobody and eat only every second day." 
"There's no need to do any of these three things," said abba Ammonas. "Simply sit in your cell and eat a little every day, and bear in mind the words of the publican in the Gospel (Luke 18.13. 'God be merciful to me a sinner'). This will keep you in the way of salvation."
V.x.17.  Abba Daniel said, "The more you build up the body the less fruitful your mind becomes, but the more the body shrivels the fresher the mind. The more heated the body, the more tenuous the mind, and the thinner the body the more lively the mind."
V.x.18.  Abba Daniel told how when abba Arsenius was in Scete there was a monk stealing the old men's belongings. Abba Arsenius wanted both to win him over and also to satisfy the old men, so he invited the monk into his cell and said to him, "I'll give you anything you want, as long as you don't steal", and he gave him some gold and some coins, and some other little things - whatever he had that was useful. But the monk kept on stealing. When the old men saw that he had not reformed his ways they expelled him, saying, "If this brother had had some kind of bodily infirmity we would have looked after him, but he is a thief, he's been warned, and has not mended his ways, so expel him, since he is not doing his own soul any good and he is causing a great deal of upset to everyone living here."
V.x.19.  At the beginning of his monastic life (conversatio), abba Evagrius went to an old man and asked, "Father, give me a word whereby I may live." 
And the old man said, "If you would be on the way of salvation, wherever you go don't go on talking about anything unless you've been asked." 
Evagrius was made to feel very guilty by this word, and apologised, admitting his own faults in this respect, saying, "Believe me, I've read many books but I've never come across wisdom like that." And he went away having profited greatly.
V.x.20.  Abba Evagrius said, "A twisted or wandering mind can be straightened out by reading, vigils and prayer, disordered desires by fasting, labour and mental effort, disruptive anger by psalmody, longsuffering and mercifulness, but make use of all these things seasonably and in due measure, for anything else may serve in the short term, but in the long term may do more harm than good."
V.x.21.  Once when abba Ephrem was on a journey, a prostitute was sent by someone to lead him astray and try to get him to have sex with her, or at the very least to get him to commit the sin of anger (for no one had ever seen him angry or quarrelsome).
"Follow me," he said to her. When they got to the middle of a crowd of people he said, "Come here and have sex with me now, if you like"
"You can't do that, with all these people around," she said, quite taken aback.
"If human beings can make you feel ashamed," he said, "how much more should God, who brings to light the hidden things of darkness!" (1 Cor.4.5). 
Confused and rebuked she departed, her desires unfulfilled.
V.x.22.  Some brothers once came to abba Zeno and asked him the meaning of what is written in Job.15.15, 'Yea, the heavens are not clean in his sight.' 
And the old man replied, "Human beings have abandoned their sins and are searching the heavens. But this is the interpretation of the text you asked about; 'Since God alone is without stain, therefore the heavens are said to be not clean in his sight'"
V.x.23.  Abba Theodore of Pherme said, "If it should so happen that a friend of yours fall into sexual temptation, hold out your hand to him and draw him back again if you can. But if he falls into heresy and won't listen to you draw back and break off your friendship lest by staying with him you also get dragged down to the depths."
V.x.24. The well-known abba Theodore once came to abba John the Eunuch and in the course of conversation he remarked, "When I was in Scete, discipline of the mind was our chief work, and we regarded manual labour as something which was transitory. But now that we have worked at discipline of the mind we realise that that too is a transitory thing."
V.x.25. One of the fathers once came to abba Theodore and said,  "One of our brothers has gone back to the world."
And abba Theodore said, "Don't be excited by that. But if you should hear that someone has succeeded in escaping from the attacks of the enemy, that would be something to get excited about."
V.x.26. That famous abba Theodore said, "There are many who live at peace with the world who nevertheless have not been shown the peace of God."
V.x.27.  (Also in III.56) The story is told of John the Dwarf that he once said to his senior brother, "I want to be as free from care as the angels who do nothing but serve God without ceasing," and taking off his habit he went into the desert. He lasted there a week and then came back and knocked at his brother's door.
Without opening the door his brother called, "Who is there?" 
"It's John", he replied.
"No," he said. "John's gone off to be an angel and no longer lives among men." 
But he kept on knocking and crying, "It is me."
The brother wouldn't open up to him however, leaving John crestfallen. When at last he did open the door he said, "If you are a human being there is work to be done in order to live. But if you are an angel why are you trying to get back into the cell?" 
Seeing the error of his ways he apologised, saying, "Forgive me, brother. I was wrong."
V.x.28.  Some old men once came to Scete, among them abba John the Dwarf, and as they were eating, a certain eminent presbyter got up and offered each one water to drink from a small jug, but no one accepted any except John the Dwarf. The others were surprised and asked him why he, the least important of all, had presumed to accept the ministrations of such a pre-eminent man. He replied, "Well, when I get up to offer water I am delighted when every one has some, and I find it very rewarding, so I accepted in order that he too might have that rewarding experience and not be disappointed because no one drank."
Hearing this they were all very impressed by his discretion.
V.x.29.  Abba Pastor once asked abba Joseph, "What do you advise I should do when assailed by temptation? Should I reject them, or let them in?" 
And the old man said, "Let them in but fight against them." 
When he had settled back again in Scete it so happened that a visitor to Scete from the Thebaid told how he had asked abba Joseph the same question, and he had said, ""Don't allow entrance to any temptation, but cut it off immediately."  When abba Pastor heard that abba Joseph had given this advice to the visitor from the Thebaid he visited abba Joseph in Panephus again and said, "Father, when I shared my thoughts with you, you gave me a completely different answer from the answer you gave to that visitor from the Thebaid." 
And the old man said, "You don't question my respect for you?" 
"No, of course not," he replied.
"Wouldn't you have told me," abba Joseph said, "to give you the same sort of advice as I would give myself? Therefore, if you are open and accepting towards temptations when they come, you test yourself to the limit. I say this to you as I would to myself, but there are others who cannot safely withstand the onset of the passions, and ought to cut them off immediately."
V.x.30. Again, abba Pastor said, "Once I came to abba Joseph in Lower Heracleus, and in his monastery there was a very fruit tree, and one morning he told me to go and pick some fruit and eat it. This was on a Saturday. I wouldn't eat because it was a fast day, and said to him, 'Tell me, for the Lord's sake, why you told me to go and eat, for I haven't done so because of the fast, and yet I feel guilty for not having done what you said. For I suppose you wouldn't have asked me to do this unless you had some reason.' 
"And he replied, 'The seniors at the beginning don't always give instructions according to the book, but sometimes a bit off-centre. Once they know that they will be obeyed in dubious matters, they will be sure of being always obeyed when giving them instructions about the things that matter.'"
V.x.31.  A brother asked abba Joseph what to do, since he wasn't being persecuted, he had no work to do and therefore couldn't give alms.
And the old man said, "If you are prevented from doing any of these things keep your conscience free from any harm towards your neighbour and you will be on the way of salvation. God seeks a soul free from sin."
V.x.32.  Abba Isaac of the Thebaid said, "Don't allow any young boys in, for because of young boys four churches in Scete were ruined."
V.x.33.  Abba Longinus said to abba Lucius, "There are three thoughts which bother me. The first is that I should go on pilgrimage."
And the old man replied, "If you can't keep guard over your tongue wherever you go, don't go on pilgrimage. But if you can guard your tongue, go." 
"The next thought," said abba Longinus, "is that I should only eat every other day." 
Abba Lucius replied, "The prophet Isaiah says, 'Even though you bind a yoke about your neck yet is your fasting not acceptable to me. Rather keep your mind from evil thinking.' (Isaiah 58. 5-6) 
"The third thought," said abba Longinus, "is that I should shut myself away from human contact." 
And abba Lucius replied, "Unless you have first amended your way of life by living with others you won't be able to amend by living alone."
V.x.34.  Abba Macarius said, "If we harbour resentment for the evils done to us by other people, we destroy the ability to maintain the remembrance of God in our minds. But if we are ever mindful of the evils which can come upon us from the demons, we are protected from attack."
V.x.35.  Abba Mathoes said, "Satan is never really sure which passion is capable of leading anyone astray, so he sows a whole lot of seeds at random not knowing which will provide a harvest, now a seed of sexual temptation, now a seed of slander and many other similar passions. Then concentrates on whatever one it is that finds a response. And once he knows what it is that the soul finds attractive, he doesn't scatter any other kinds of seed about."
V.x.36.  It is told of abba Nathyra, who was a disciple of abba Silvanus, that when he lived in his cell in Mount Sinai he was quite moderate as regards bodily necessities in the way in which he governed his life. But when he was made bishop of Pharan he disciplined himself with quite severe ascetic practices. His disciple said to him, "Father, when we were in the desert you didn't crucify yourself like this."
And the old man said, "My son, there we had solitude and silence and poverty, and I looked after my body in such a way that I ran no risk of falling ill and finding I was in need of things which were unobtainable. Now, however, we are in the midst of the world, where it is very easy to be over-indulgent, and if I fall ill here there are plenty of people who will be able to come and help me - as long as I don't betray my monastic vocation."
V.x.37.  A brother consulted abba Pastor saying, "I am very unsettled and would like to leave this place." 
And the old man asked him why. 
"Because I have heard some very unedifying things about one of the brothers," he replied.
The old man asked, "Are the things you have heard true?" 
"Yes, they're true, father," he said. "The brother who told me about them is very trustworthy."   
"He can't be very trustworthy if he told you these things," said the old man, "for if he were really trustworthy he would not have mentioned such things at all. God himself when he heard tales of the Sodomites would not believe it before he had gone down and seen with his own eyes" (Genesis 18.20)
"I have seen with my own eyes," he said.
Hearing this the old man looked down at the ground and saw a small splinter which he picked up and said, "What is this?" 
"A splinter," he replied.
He then looked up towards the roof and said "What is that?" 
"A beam supporting the roof," he replied.
And the old man said, "Engrave it upon your heart that your own sins are like this beam, but that those of the brother you are talking about are like this small splinter." 
When abba Sisois heard about this advice he exclaimed, "How best shall I extol you, abba Pastor? Truly you are like a precious jewel and your words are full of grace and glory."
V.x.38. Some presbyters of that district were visiting in the nearby monasteries where abba Pastor dwelt, and abba Anub came to abba Pastor and said, "Let us ask these presbyters if in their kindness they will today offer up here the gifts of God (i.e. bread and wine)."
But abba Pastor just stood there and would give no answer, so that abba Anub went away disappointed.
"Why didn't you answer him?" asked some who were nearby.
And abba Pastor said, "I don't apologise. I am as it were dead to the world, and the dead don't speak. So don't think of me as if I am really with you."
V.x.39.  A certain brother from the monastery of abba Pastor went on pilgrimage and stayed with a certain solitary who was held in high esteem by all and received many visitors. The brother told him a few things about abba Pastor's nobility of soul, which made him want to go and visit him. This brother went back to Egypt and a short time afterwards the solitary made a pilgrimage to Egypt to visit this same brother who had previously visited him, for he had told him where he lived. He was surprised to see him and highly delighted. The solitary then said to him, "Do you think you could possibly be so kind as to take me to abba Pastor?"
So he took him to abba Pastor and introduced him, saying, "This is a lovely person of great warmth, held in high esteem in his own district, who would very much like to see you." 
The old man received him very graciously, and after their greetings sat down to talk. The pilgrim brother began to talk about the Holy Scriptures, and about all sorts of other spiritual and heavenly things, but abba Pastor turned his face away and said nothing. The brother left, disappointed that abba Pastor had nothing to say, and said to his guide, "My journey to this old man has been a complete waste of time, as he hasn't condescended to say a single word to me." 
So the brother went to abba Pastor and asked him why he had not conversed with this splendid person, held in high esteem in his own district, who had come especially to see him. And the old man replied, "He lives in the heavenly realm and talks of heavenly things. I am down-to earth and can only speak of earthly things. If he had spoken about human passions I would have known how to reply to him, but I'm no use in talking about spiritualities."
The brother went back to his visitor and said, "The old man does not talk readily about the Scriptures, but he will reply to anyone who talks about the human passions." 
Stung by this, he went back to the old man and said, "What should I do, father, about the passions which rule in my soul?"
Giving him a happy look the old man said, "I'm glad you have come back, for now I can speak about these things and perhaps say something useful." 
Greatly edified he realised that here was a path of true charity, and he went back home giving thanks to God that he had been found worthy to see such a holy old man.
V.x.40.  A brother consulted abba Pastor, saying, "I have committed a grievous sin, and think I ought to do penance for three years." 
"Too much," said abba Pastor.
"One year, would you think?" asked the brother. 
"Too much," was the reply.
Those standing nearby said, "How about forty days?" 
"Still too much," said the old man, adding, "I reckon that for anyone who truly repents from the bottom of his heart and is determined not to repeat his offence, the Lord will even accept a mere three days."
V.x.41. Abba Ammon consulted him about the unclean thoughts and vain desires which the human heart brings forth. And abba Pastor replied, "'Does the axe claim more credit that the man who wields it?' (Isaiah 10.15)  If you weren't striving against them, you wouldn't have any work to do."
V.x.42.  Abba Isaiah consulted him on the same question and abba Pastor said, "If you have a cupboard full of clothes and you leave them shut up for a long period eventually they will rot. In the same way, if you prevent your thoughts breaking out into bodily actions eventually they will rot and disappear."
V.x.43. When abba Joseph also consulted him about this, abba Pastor said, "If  a snake or a scorpion is put into a bottle and tightly shut up, in the course of time it will certainly die. So with evil thoughts which fester by the devices of the demons - they gradually decrease according to the measure of patience shown by the one to whom they are sent."
V.x.44.  (Also in III.45, but attributed to abba Poemen) Abba Joseph asked abba Pastor, "What is the best way of fasting?" 
And abba Pastor replied, "I think you should eat every day but regularly take a little less than you feel like eating." 
"But when you were young," said abba Joseph, "didn't you go without food for two days at a time?" 
"Quite right," the old man said. "And sometimes three days, or even a week. This was a practice approved by the influential seniors. But they found that it was better to eat daily, and on alternate days a little less, thus showing us a royal road which was not so arduous and easier to practice."

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